单位文秘网 2020-10-16 14:05:07 点击: 次
1:
One girl went to the preacher and confessed her sin.
Girl: Father, I have sinned.
Preacher: What did you do, little girl
Girl: Yesterday, I called a man a son of a Bitch.
Preacher: Why What did he do to you
Girl: He touched my breast.
Preacher: You mean like this (The guy did it.)
Girl: (A little shy from the touch) Yes.
Preacher: Thats no reason to call him that.
Girl: But he also took off my cloth.
Preacher: You mean like this (He did it again.)
Girl: Yes, thats what he did.
Preacher: Thats still no reason to call him that.
Girl: And he put his you-know-what into my you-know-what...
Preacher: (evil laugh...) You mean like this (And you-know-what)
Girl: (After a few minutes...) Ugh... Yeah, thats what he did...
Preacher: My dear girl, thats still no reason to call him a...
Girl: But he had AIDS!!
Preacher: THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!
2:
A: You really like my stupid jokes
B: Yes, they just tear me up! You have such a dry sense of humor and you keep such a straight face that it takes minutes for the joke to dawn on me.
A: Yes, well such jokes arent funny if the wisecracker laughs. My father was a great jokester. It sometimes took hours for me and my brother to get the joke.
A: 你真的喜欢我讲的这些愚蠢的笑话吗
B: 是的,它们都快让我肚皮笑破了!你还真能装,板着个脸,我是过了一会儿才领悟你的笑话的。
A: 讲俏皮话的人自己先笑了,就没意思了。我爸可会讲笑话了,有的时候我和我哥得花上半天功夫才能明白过来。
3:
男: This seat empty(这个座位是空的吧)
女:Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.(是的,如果你坐下,我的座位就是空的。)【我立马走人】
男:Havent I seen you some place before(我好像以前在什么地方见过你)
女:Yes. Thats why I dont go there anymore.(是的。这就是为什么我不再去那个地方的原因。)【我不想和你有任何交集】
男:Will you go out with me this Saturday(这个星期六你想跟我出去吗)
女:Sorry. Im having a headache this weekend.(抱歉。这个周末我头疼)【^_^头疼也是可以预约的】
男:Can I have your name(我能知道你的名字吗)
女:Why Dont you already have one (为什么你不是已经有一个了吗)
男:Im a photographer. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是摄影师。我一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)
女:Im a plastic surgeon. Ive been looking for a face like yours.(我是整形外科医生。我也一直在寻找一张像你这样的脸。)【长的真丑】
男:I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)
女:Why Are you leaving(是吗你是说你要离开)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】
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